Sock It To Me

I found myself contemplating what to write about for this week's Mommy Must-Have yesterday while I was getting Evie dressed. As I looked at her bare feet and instinctively reached for my favorite accoutrement to cover her little tootsies, it hit me.

I have been in love with these socks from trumpettetoo (yes, it's lowercased) ever since I got them as a gift. When I first saw them in the box, I fell in love with their obvious cuteness, but now I realize how practical they are!

At first glance, most people don't realize that Evie is not, in fact, wearing real shoes. Once they do catch on, I almost always hear, "Those are precious!"

Yes, yes. They're adorable. But allow me to tell you why I really love them...

For a long time now, Evelyn has enjoyed standing with help from someone propping her up. Shoes confuse her. They make her clumsier and less balanced than she already is. Socks, however, keep her warm without making her feel like she's got straight jackets on her feet.

Though babies are typically exempt from the "No shirt, no shoes, no service" rule, there are occasions that demand a sense of dressiness. These socks are the best of both worlds. Look good; feel good. I've layered them over tights and paired them with jeans. They're perfect for church or a dinner outing.

Because I received these socks as a gift, I didn't know where they even came from until I Googled them. Not surprising, they come from Target. A pack of three costs $8, and they also have plenty of styles for both boys and girls. I would recommend them for the classic Practical Mom/Stylish Baby duo.

The Cold War

Needless to say, Evelyn and I have a lot of close contact. If she drools, it ends up on my shirt. If she poops, I wipe her butt. So it only makes sense that if Evie sneezes, there's a good chance she did so all over my face.

This is how I caught a cold.

Four days ago, Evie woke up with a stuffy nose. I gingerly wiped it for her and went on with the day occasionally wiping a boogie or two from her sweet face. But that night, I felt the telltale tickle in my throat that said, "Congratulations, Mama. You and baby are sharing a cold!"

For the last few days, Evie and I have been sneezing, coughing and groaning through the Thanksgiving holiday. Don't get me wrong, we had a great time with family and food, but it wasn't without a zillion tissues and regular forehead checks for fevers.

Thankfully, I was worse off between the two of us. We both, however, shared matching diminished appetites and bright red noses.

As with everything else, the world did not stop turning until baby and I recovered. With tissues in my pockets and Sudafed in my bloodstream, I trudged forth to shift after shift at work while Evie continued with her taxing life of eating, pooping and sleeping.

The worst thing about taking care of an under-the-weather baby? The treatment. Since Evie can't share Dayquil with me, the most I could do for her was to suck out her snot with a suction bulb and wipe her face. If you've ever had a baby, you know they don't enjoy this.

As of this moment, the Peanut and I are almost fully recovered. While I ponder what ailments await us in the future, I can't help but giggle every time I hear a boogery snort from Evie's crib while she sleeps.

Mommy Must-Haves!

Young mothers- any mothers, really- form an intricate network of communication. It doesn't matter if you've never met someone in your entire life; if you have the same stroller, it's a basis for conversation.

That being said, the most frequented topic of chit-chat is consumerism. And why wouldn't it be? One study found that new mothers spend approximately $7,000 by the time their child reaches his or her first birthday. Which brings me to my point...

A lot of people ask me which baby products are Must-Haves and why. Because I often repeat the same speeches over and over, I thought I would turn it into a new blog segment, especially since I'm trying to get back in the habit of writing more.

With that, I present to you my first Mommy Must-Have:

This charming rainbow of plastic is called the "Ring O Links," made by Sassy. When I first created my baby registry, I made sure to put plenty of lower-priced items on the list. But when I pulled these out of a bag at my baby shower, they might as well have been a baby flat-screen TV. Call it a sixth sense, but I knew they would make an awesome toy.

Evelyn loves these little rings. Every time she sees them, she reacts as if they are brand new. I have a feelings she loves the spectrum of colors, and unlike some of her other toys, these are small enough to fit perfectly in her tiny grip.

The ring comes with eight links total, and they have different textures: smooth, bumps and ridges. Evie gets to feel the different sensations every time she picks them up. Additionally, the black stripes on the main ring are rubbery, making it easier to hold if baby wants to grab the whole thing and wave it around. (She does.)

Mommy loves these because they are, in a word, easy. I can throw them in my purse or the diaper bag. I can link each ring together to make a chain and hang it from just about anywhere, (great for car rides). If they get dropped or dirty, no problem. Just throw them in the dishwasher. The best thing of all is the price tag, only $2.99. We take these everywhere because if they get lost, it's no big deal to replace them.

When it comes to baby toys, I subscribe to the theory of keeping it cheap and simple. If she's anything like me, Evie will only want to play with boxes and pots by the time she can walk. In the meantime, I think I've found the missing link! ;)

Becoming "Mom"

Today is November 15, 2011. One year ago today was the first full day I spent with the understanding that my life was no longer a solo act.

Shortly after dinner time on November 14, 2010, I found myself squating over a stick in a less-than-clean bathroom. I remember saying out loud, "Please. Please." I can't be sure what I was praying for as the results slowly flooded over the pregnancy test. I know I wasn't necessarily wishing for any particular outcome, but rather that everything would be ok- that I would be ok.

And then, it appeared: A tiny blue plus sign in the window. For the briefest moment, the world stopped spinning while my life palpably changed forever. I stared at that plus sign as if it might start speaking to me any second before I quietly tiptoed out of the bathroom as if silence might help.

One year ago today, I woke up at 6 a.m. and waited for the University of Kentucky's Student Health Services to open so I could make an appointment, even though their phone lines weren't active until 9. They say the darkest part of the night is just before dawn, and I laid there in that darkness while crushing amounts of terror and excitement washed over me all at once. I remember those passing hours as if they were only this morning.

Finally, I made my way to Student Health only to pee in a cup and have someone walk up and say, "You're definitely pregnant." A kind, but stern middle-aged woman then sat me down in her office and handed me paper after paper on my different options before she pulled out a plastic model of the female reproductive system and explained exactly how an abortion works. Only a moment later, she explained to me what I need to look for in a prenatal vitamin and it hit me- This woman probably sees panicked, young, pregnant students all the time. It's her job to present every option and show no bias whatsoever.

I walked back out into that crisp, Fall day with my tiny hands clutching a fistful of papers and a new outlook on the world.

Though the fear was overwhelming, it was also the least alone I have ever felt in my life. There I was, still the same feisty, outgoing little fireball on the outside, no different from the day before. But on the inside, I held the most precious little secret I could ever have imagined. Every day from then on was a team effort within my body. I housed and nourished that little peanut, and in return she offered me the most sincere form of comfort.

One year ago today, when I was just over one month pregnant, I discovered that I would be a mother. At that time, my daughter was a tiny ball of cells, tissue and an inaudible heartbeat. Now, she's sleeping in her crib across the room from me. I can't even fathom where I'll be in another year...

All the Single Ladies

Allow me to provide you with a piece of little-known knowledge: Single parenthood is tough.

As I'm sure you're well aware, daylight savings time recently gave us an extra hour. By "us," I mean anyone who doesn't have an infant.

Evelyn gets tired at the same time every night these days. She's almost always fast asleep in her crib by 10:30. I, being the night owl that I am, force myself to put away the laptop around 1 or 2 a.m. Evie then wakes up at 6:30 to eat, and if I'm lucky, she goes back to sleep for a couple hours.

And then daylight savings happened. Evie now dozes off around 9 and wakes up around 5:30, but I'm still retiring between 1 and 2. So every morning for the last week, I've been squinting my eyes open and searching the room for even a glimmer of sunlight while my daughter howls for breakfast.

Without fail, I always look around me to see if someone- anyone- will grant my truest wish and take care of Evie's pre-dawn demands for me. And without fail, no one magically appears.

Such is the plight of a single parent. Sure, there are plenty of people who want to help me with Evie, but you can never go through the day assuming that anyone will help you. You start and stop the waking hour under the pretense that it's all on you.

Luckily for me, I have an amazing, helpful family who has given me more than I could ask for. I wonder, then, if it's the mere characteristic of being a single parent that feels so overwhelming?

I will say this in praise of singledom: Every day is a girls day. Our room glows with shades of purple. We don't have to share the closet. Every morning, I savor the peaceful moments of solitude with my daughter. Every night, we say her prayers and lay her down to sleep before I go watch my guilty pleasures on television.

So here I am, at 12:17 a.m. I've got at least another hour in me, but as I write this I can hear Evie turning her dream-filled head from side to side as if to remind me that not only is she in the room, but breakfast is in five short hours.

Birthday Girls

Today was my 22nd birthday. Woo hoo.

One year ago today, I was housing a tiny sprout of a baby in my belly and had no idea. In fact, I still had three and a half weeks before I would even suspect a thing. I can't even begin to describe how drastically my life has changed in one year.

This time last year, I was tossing back Irish car bombs and shots of vodka. Today I enjoyed homemade pasta sauce with spinach ravioli, (and maybe a couple of peach mango martinis).

This time last year I put on four-inch heels to go out on the town. Today I wore a long-sleeved raglan that got covered in drool and some brand new fuzzy socks, courtesy of my grandmother.

This time last year, I celebrated my birthday with friends who wanted nothing more than to watch me pour liquor down my throat. Today I took care of my daughter, the same as I have for the last three and a half months.

When I woke up this morning and looked over at Evie, her face didn't say, "Happy Birthday, Mom!" Instead, she whined and squirmed until I shoved a boob in her mouth. She cried in the car while we ran errands. She pooped in her diaper while I was eating cake. She even slobbered on my face when I held her up above my head. In short, Evelyn did not care that today was my birthday.

Unlike other days, however, she stayed quiet while I ate my dinner, happily glaring at a muted episode of Spongebob on TV. Trust me, this is a wonderful birthday gift. Normally I have to choke down a bowl of cereal for dinner while Evie threatens to fuss any second.

Believe me when I say that I am happy to be a whole year away from my former life. Evie has made my life so much better, so much more rewarding, and no number of vodka shots could numb me into the bliss I feel every time she smiles her big gummy grin.

You could say that Evie was a birthday surprise from last year. Today I held her and knew with all certainty that she was the greatest gift I could ever receive, even if she does slobber on my face.

There's No Place Like Home

Today was my very last day of work at TGI Friday's. On my way home, I had a feeling that I believe is most comparable to the way Dorothy must have felt when it was time for her to leave Oz. I went around the restaurant and said my goodbyes, feeling sad but relieved at the same time. The whole experience was summed up by the word "bittersweet."

You may be thinking, "Kellie. Get a grip. It was a waitressing job."

But that's where you would be wrong. That job was my foray back into the adult world after giving birth only a few months ago. I started working there when Evelyn was 7 weeks old, and since then it has allowed me to interact with adults and feel as if I'm good for more than breastfeeding.

Leaving Evelyn for each work shift was always a challenge, but I consistently felt tremendous joy every time I walked back through the front door, feet aching and skin stinking of steaks, when I got to see my daughter's chubby face once again.

I think parenting demands breaks. You have to go out into the world and away from your child for periods of time to retain sanity. I respect anyone who bears the moniker "full-time parent" because I fear I would permanently speak in baby talk if I did.

Aside from the mental stability permitted by working a job, the people I called co-workers have evolved into fantastic friends. I can say with all honesty that I will miss every single one of them. I already miss listening to their stories, laughing at their jokes and sharing their aggravation at a bad tip. If any of them read this, I hope they know I feel very happy to have met them. Like Dorothy, however, I hope that I'm not leaving them behind entirely so much as I'm waking up from the dream that was my time in Lexington. I'm confident they'll continue to be my friends even if I no longer see them as scarecrows or tinmen, aka co-workers.

So here I sit, wondering what to do with my Friday's polo shirt and apron, ready to turn the page onto the next chapter. Evelyn and I are moving back to Louisville in one week, and in the meantime I'm going to search for a new job. I just hope I get to trade in my black, non-slip shoes for some ruby slippers in the near future.

Worth a Thousand Words

Because she is just so stinkin' cute, here are my all-time favorite pictures of Evie since she was born! All of them were taken on my cell phone.

This is one of the very first pictures I took of my sweet little girl when she came into my life on July 5, 2011. When I took this photo, I had no idea much fun I had in store.

I think Evie was three days old here. My little sister, Carly, had brought over a sticker with the letter "E" on it, so I stuck it to her onesie and took a picture.

I've always loved this picture, and I can't quite figure out why. She was maybe a week old, and I just thought she looked so peaceful and sweet when she slept.

This was right before I took her over to my dad's house for the first time. She looked so alert and ready to go!

Wearing a hat from Paris that my friend, Jennifer, brought her. Proof that she is already more stylish than I am.

This was Evie's first boat ride this summer. I think she was just around a month old. It was very hot outside, but she did great.

So cozy!

This was taken soon after we moved to Lexington. In her little pink onesie, I thought she looked like a sleeping baby piglet.

After I took this, I started calling her my "little bunny" because she looked like a tiny rabbit nestled down in a burrow. She was just so content in her little bouncy seat, which is where she usually chills while I get ready.

I specifically remember she was staring at the toilet when I took this. She looked so calm and innocent just staring at the shiny porcelain comode.

Evie always gets this big grin on her face if I look at her and say, "Oooooohhh!" I was finally able to get it on camera, a difficult task considering if she spots the camera, she stares at it with a serious look on her face.

This is classic Evie these days- sweet, curious and mellow, but always a tad mischevious. She reminds me of someone... ;)

Sleep and My Lack Thereof

Today I was at work contemplating how much I miss having the time to think and write. When you say, "Hi, my name is Kellie and I'll be taking care of you tonight. What can I bring you to drink?" so many times, you begin to miss using your vocabulary for creative purposes. It was then that I realized I haven't written a blog post in over a month.

Forgive me! Between working and taking care of Evie, I rarely have time to eat a full meal, much less sit down and type. But here I am- fresh out of work with a baby quietly napping a few feet away. And may I just say this: I envy her.

A lot of people told me that when I embarked into motherhood, my sleep patterns would be drastically affected. But just like most other parental warnings, you can't understand it until you're living the mom life.

For the first month and a half or so of Evie's life, she woke up approximately four or five times a night to squeal and eat. Luckily for me, breastfeeding makes those late-night and early-morning snacks much easier. I just pull the baby right up next to me and let her indulge. However, because we got in the habit of laying in the same bed so much, Evie now believes that my bed is her bed.

I used to sleep like a starfish- on my stomach with all four limbs stretched in different directions. Now I sleep like, well, a baby in the womb. While Evie lays sprawled out next to me, I stay curled in the fetal position all night long. Waking up is unpleasant not because I would rather keep sleeping, but because I feel like I'm trying to undo the rigor mortis that has obviously set in.

And forget naps. Once in a while, if I'm lucky, I can doze off with Evie laying on my chest. But usually I don't even want to consider snoozing during the day because the feeling that I should be doing something else is overwhelming. My mind screams, "How can you sleep when you should be folding that huge pile of laundry?!"

But if there's one thing I know, it's that parenting is a balancing act. Sometimes you have to make time for the things that make you happy and serve no other purpose. Like blogging.

Black Friday's

I have always considered Louisville, Kentucky to be my home base. Despite the fact that I've mainly lived in Lexington for the last three years, Louisville was still home. Though the Derby City will always be my beloved hometown, I feel as though I have truly adopted Lexington as my base of operations, the place I will call home for the forseeable future. I'll admit, that was quite a shock to my system for a few days.

Psh. That was nothing.

Today I left Evelyn for the longest stretch of time since she was born. I had to. For my job.

I remember when she was only about a week old and I left her for 20 minutes to go walk on a treadmill in the gym at my mom's apartment complex. Those minutes felt like an eternity. I wish I had known then what I know now.

When I left for work today at 4, I didn't even know how long I would be gone. To garner an income as quickly as possible, I took a job as a waitress at a nearby T.G.I. Friday's, and since today commenced my training, I didn't even know how long I would be gone.

As I walked out of my apartment clad in the standard-issue Friday's polo shirt and some hideous non-slip black shoes, I felt sadness and anticipation all at once. I was excited to start working with some new people and ready to be a part of the working adult world for a while. But at the same time, I found myself clinging to a very clear mental picture of my sweet baby girl napping in my arms.

After about two hours of working, I could be found slumped against the bar waiting for a drink with a melancholy expression on my face. When someone asked me if I was ok, I replied without hesitation, "I miss my baby!"

Having been gone for over five hours, I returned home and found my little angel just as I left her- painfully cute and frustrating all at the same time. She hadn't changed while I wasn't looking, much to my relief.

After a quick change of attire so my little family wouldn't have to smell the medium-well steaks and shrimp skewers that permeated my clothes, I settled on the couch with Evelyn nestled in my left arm, Roy next to me glued to his laptop and a bowl of victory fettucine in front of me.

Yes, I hate leaving my daughter. Yes, I hate taking people's orders with a dumb grin on my face when all I can think about is her face. Yes, I thought I was going to have a stroke when another baby cried in the restaurant and I looked around for Evie.

Despite all those things, however, having a job is rewarding, and those moments I spent on the couch after I got home were the best moments I can recall since I relocated to Lexington. And honestly, who wouldn't want to come home to that?