I have always considered Louisville, Kentucky to be my home base. Despite the fact that I've mainly lived in Lexington for the last three years, Louisville was still home. Though the Derby City will always be my beloved hometown, I feel as though I have truly adopted Lexington as my base of operations, the place I will call home for the forseeable future. I'll admit, that was quite a shock to my system for a few days.
Psh. That was nothing.
Today I left Evelyn for the longest stretch of time since she was born. I had to. For my job.
I remember when she was only about a week old and I left her for 20 minutes to go walk on a treadmill in the gym at my mom's apartment complex. Those minutes felt like an eternity. I wish I had known then what I know now.
When I left for work today at 4, I didn't even know how long I would be gone. To garner an income as quickly as possible, I took a job as a waitress at a nearby T.G.I. Friday's, and since today commenced my training, I didn't even know how long I would be gone.
As I walked out of my apartment clad in the standard-issue Friday's polo shirt and some hideous non-slip black shoes, I felt sadness and anticipation all at once. I was excited to start working with some new people and ready to be a part of the working adult world for a while. But at the same time, I found myself clinging to a very clear mental picture of my sweet baby girl napping in my arms.
After about two hours of working, I could be found slumped against the bar waiting for a drink with a melancholy expression on my face. When someone asked me if I was ok, I replied without hesitation, "I miss my baby!"
Having been gone for over five hours, I returned home and found my little angel just as I left her- painfully cute and frustrating all at the same time. She hadn't changed while I wasn't looking, much to my relief.
After a quick change of attire so my little family wouldn't have to smell the medium-well steaks and shrimp skewers that permeated my clothes, I settled on the couch with Evelyn nestled in my left arm, Roy next to me glued to his laptop and a bowl of victory fettucine in front of me.
Yes, I hate leaving my daughter. Yes, I hate taking people's orders with a dumb grin on my face when all I can think about is her face. Yes, I thought I was going to have a stroke when another baby cried in the restaurant and I looked around for Evie.
Despite all those things, however, having a job is rewarding, and those moments I spent on the couch after I got home were the best moments I can recall since I relocated to Lexington. And honestly, who wouldn't want to come home to that?
Friday, August 26, 2011
Saturday, August 20, 2011
New Beginnings
I've been neglecting my blog lately. First, allow me to apologize. Second, let me make excuses.
Six days ago, Roy and I moved into our new Lexington apartment with Evelyn, and the following days have been a haze of organized chaos. Getting settled in a new place with a six-week-old baby is...challenging.
Sunday- Moving Day
We woke up early, came to Lexington and commenced the unpacking process. With help from a few friends, we got everything in the new place only to stare at the massive heaps of crap that two people and a baby have accumulated.
The first room I went to work on was Evelyn's naturally. Note: She spends MAYBE an hour per day in her room, but all of her stuff is so cute I couldn't resist.
That night, filthy and exhausted, all we wanted was a shower and a drink to celebrate. Two things were missing: 1. The rings to hang the shower curtain. 2. Corkscrew. While Roy watched the baby, I made a trip to the dollar store, which doesn't, believe it or not, sell corkscrews. That required a separate trip to Walgreens. Later, we discovered that our original shower rings had been stuffed inside a cookie jar in our kitchen, and the wine bottle had a twist-off cap. Oh, cruel irony.
Thursday- Epic Haircut
After contemplating a new 'do for a week or so, I impulsively decided to go chop off a lot of my hair. This, however, was not the most significant part of the day. What matters is that doing so required me to leave Evie with a babysitter who was not her father for approximately three hours.
After a cosmetology student who was so young she still had braces lobbed off six inches of my hair, I raced back to my precious baby. (I go to the Paul Mitchell School for my haircuts. They're way cheaper and I'm all about supporting education.) You know the old saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder?" It's true. As fond as my heart is for my baby, I think I needed those few hours to do something for myself and not constantly be listening for her pitiful little squeals.
Friday- Job Hunting
After making daily trips for food and other necessary items, we concluded it was time to focus on getting some revenue flowing into this household. Since Roy is a second-year law student, that meant I had to put on my big girl pants and some high heels to tackle the ol' rat race.
For several hours, I scoured the city for any job that pays American dollars. By the end of the afternoon, I was feeling defeated and tired, but made one last stop. Thank goodness I did because they hired me on the spot. Let's just say you may find me bringing you your dinner someday...
So here I sit- in my new apartment with my new haircut and new job, contentedly glancing over at my new baby snoozing on the couch. All in all, I can't complain. Roy and I are discovering new quirks about each other every day. For instance, he can't understand why I put peanut butter on crackers only to lick it off, and I recently found out that when confronted with a lack of dresser space, he elected to stash his t-shirts in the desk drawers.
Tasks for the upcoming days:
1. Preparing to leave my baby for hours on end to go work.
2. Get Evelyn to sleep in her crib and not right next to me.
3. Memorize a menu.
4. Loads and loads of laundry.
5. Starting Monday, I'm going to eat healthier and take Evie for more walks to get back in shape. Pregnancy really takes it out of you.
6. Pumping lots of milk for baby to have while I'm working.
The only question I'm still asking myself is this: How did I grow up so fast?!
Six days ago, Roy and I moved into our new Lexington apartment with Evelyn, and the following days have been a haze of organized chaos. Getting settled in a new place with a six-week-old baby is...challenging.
Sunday- Moving Day
We woke up early, came to Lexington and commenced the unpacking process. With help from a few friends, we got everything in the new place only to stare at the massive heaps of crap that two people and a baby have accumulated.
The first room I went to work on was Evelyn's naturally. Note: She spends MAYBE an hour per day in her room, but all of her stuff is so cute I couldn't resist.
That night, filthy and exhausted, all we wanted was a shower and a drink to celebrate. Two things were missing: 1. The rings to hang the shower curtain. 2. Corkscrew. While Roy watched the baby, I made a trip to the dollar store, which doesn't, believe it or not, sell corkscrews. That required a separate trip to Walgreens. Later, we discovered that our original shower rings had been stuffed inside a cookie jar in our kitchen, and the wine bottle had a twist-off cap. Oh, cruel irony.
Thursday- Epic Haircut
After contemplating a new 'do for a week or so, I impulsively decided to go chop off a lot of my hair. This, however, was not the most significant part of the day. What matters is that doing so required me to leave Evie with a babysitter who was not her father for approximately three hours.
After a cosmetology student who was so young she still had braces lobbed off six inches of my hair, I raced back to my precious baby. (I go to the Paul Mitchell School for my haircuts. They're way cheaper and I'm all about supporting education.) You know the old saying, "Absence makes the heart grow fonder?" It's true. As fond as my heart is for my baby, I think I needed those few hours to do something for myself and not constantly be listening for her pitiful little squeals.
Friday- Job Hunting
After making daily trips for food and other necessary items, we concluded it was time to focus on getting some revenue flowing into this household. Since Roy is a second-year law student, that meant I had to put on my big girl pants and some high heels to tackle the ol' rat race.
For several hours, I scoured the city for any job that pays American dollars. By the end of the afternoon, I was feeling defeated and tired, but made one last stop. Thank goodness I did because they hired me on the spot. Let's just say you may find me bringing you your dinner someday...
So here I sit- in my new apartment with my new haircut and new job, contentedly glancing over at my new baby snoozing on the couch. All in all, I can't complain. Roy and I are discovering new quirks about each other every day. For instance, he can't understand why I put peanut butter on crackers only to lick it off, and I recently found out that when confronted with a lack of dresser space, he elected to stash his t-shirts in the desk drawers.
Tasks for the upcoming days:
1. Preparing to leave my baby for hours on end to go work.
2. Get Evelyn to sleep in her crib and not right next to me.
3. Memorize a menu.
4. Loads and loads of laundry.
5. Starting Monday, I'm going to eat healthier and take Evie for more walks to get back in shape. Pregnancy really takes it out of you.
6. Pumping lots of milk for baby to have while I'm working.
The only question I'm still asking myself is this: How did I grow up so fast?!
Sunday, August 7, 2011
Totally Pumped
Throughout my pregnancy, I studied up on breastfeeding. I took the classes, read the books and learned the necessary information. So when my little girl was born, I had a pretty good idea of what to do: 1) Disrobe torso. 2) Hold baby up to chest. 3) Commence latching. 4) Lactate.
I would be lying if I said breastfeeding didn't come with its share of surprises. That first day in the hospital, I paged a nurse to help me get the baby latched on, at which point she entered the room, grabbed my left mammary gland and shoved it in the baby's mouth.
At 5 this morning, I woke up to feed Evie and realized that the left side of my bra was completely soaked. And yes, I wear nursing pads. I planted Evie on that side, but when she slipped off, she got sprayed right in her sweet little face. She wasn't too much worse for the wear.
Despite these unpredictable circumstances, nursing has come pretty easily to me, and for that I consider myself quite lucky. As I've recently discovered, however, pumping breastmilk is a whole different story.
For starters, pumping is not very comfortable. You would think it couldn't hurt any worse than the baby, but you would be wrong. It hurts, especially if you're having a tough time getting the milk out. And when you're finally finished, the first time you let the baby nurse from that side, it stings like getting a tattoo on your nipple for about 30 seconds. (Note: This may be different with electric pumps, but I kick it old school with a manual one.)
That brings me to my next point: pumping milk isn't always easy. Unlike nursing straight from the source, your body doesn't automatically release for something that you don't mentally recognize as your own child. Recently, I tried to pump a couple times to no avail, only to realize that it was only possible under specific circumstances.
I have to be completely relaxed to pump successfully, which is tough when you have a fussy baby. I prefer to pump while Evelyn is sleeping soundly. Knowing that she's content makes me release tension, and breastmilk for that matter.
To my surprise, I can pump better when no one is watching me. This is surprising because I'm not a shy person. I can nurse with no problem while other people are in the room, but if someone watches me pump, I might as well have a clog.
Once I figured out what works best for me, I managed to stockpile a few bottles in the freezer. On Thursday night, a day before she turned one month old, we gave Evie her first bottle. Rather, Roy gave it to her while I tried not to freak out because my baby is already a month old.
She took it like a champ. She rested comfortably in Roy's arm and sucked down four ounces in no time at all. Then came time for me to face my irrational fears- what if she liked the bottle better than me?! To check, I served up a finale to her meal straight from the keg. She transitioned between the two flawlessly.
If there's one thing I know, it's that feeding a baby, like parenting, is a learning experience. You have to figure out what works best for you. The hiccups are not failures, they're just opportunities to learn more about yourself and your baby. And when it's all said and done, I get to watch Evie have some hiccups of her own, which is just the cutest darn thing I've ever seen.
I would be lying if I said breastfeeding didn't come with its share of surprises. That first day in the hospital, I paged a nurse to help me get the baby latched on, at which point she entered the room, grabbed my left mammary gland and shoved it in the baby's mouth.
At 5 this morning, I woke up to feed Evie and realized that the left side of my bra was completely soaked. And yes, I wear nursing pads. I planted Evie on that side, but when she slipped off, she got sprayed right in her sweet little face. She wasn't too much worse for the wear.
Despite these unpredictable circumstances, nursing has come pretty easily to me, and for that I consider myself quite lucky. As I've recently discovered, however, pumping breastmilk is a whole different story.
For starters, pumping is not very comfortable. You would think it couldn't hurt any worse than the baby, but you would be wrong. It hurts, especially if you're having a tough time getting the milk out. And when you're finally finished, the first time you let the baby nurse from that side, it stings like getting a tattoo on your nipple for about 30 seconds. (Note: This may be different with electric pumps, but I kick it old school with a manual one.)
That brings me to my next point: pumping milk isn't always easy. Unlike nursing straight from the source, your body doesn't automatically release for something that you don't mentally recognize as your own child. Recently, I tried to pump a couple times to no avail, only to realize that it was only possible under specific circumstances.
I have to be completely relaxed to pump successfully, which is tough when you have a fussy baby. I prefer to pump while Evelyn is sleeping soundly. Knowing that she's content makes me release tension, and breastmilk for that matter.
To my surprise, I can pump better when no one is watching me. This is surprising because I'm not a shy person. I can nurse with no problem while other people are in the room, but if someone watches me pump, I might as well have a clog.
Once I figured out what works best for me, I managed to stockpile a few bottles in the freezer. On Thursday night, a day before she turned one month old, we gave Evie her first bottle. Rather, Roy gave it to her while I tried not to freak out because my baby is already a month old.
She took it like a champ. She rested comfortably in Roy's arm and sucked down four ounces in no time at all. Then came time for me to face my irrational fears- what if she liked the bottle better than me?! To check, I served up a finale to her meal straight from the keg. She transitioned between the two flawlessly.
If there's one thing I know, it's that feeding a baby, like parenting, is a learning experience. You have to figure out what works best for you. The hiccups are not failures, they're just opportunities to learn more about yourself and your baby. And when it's all said and done, I get to watch Evie have some hiccups of her own, which is just the cutest darn thing I've ever seen.
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