Birthday Girls

Today was my 22nd birthday. Woo hoo.

One year ago today, I was housing a tiny sprout of a baby in my belly and had no idea. In fact, I still had three and a half weeks before I would even suspect a thing. I can't even begin to describe how drastically my life has changed in one year.

This time last year, I was tossing back Irish car bombs and shots of vodka. Today I enjoyed homemade pasta sauce with spinach ravioli, (and maybe a couple of peach mango martinis).

This time last year I put on four-inch heels to go out on the town. Today I wore a long-sleeved raglan that got covered in drool and some brand new fuzzy socks, courtesy of my grandmother.

This time last year, I celebrated my birthday with friends who wanted nothing more than to watch me pour liquor down my throat. Today I took care of my daughter, the same as I have for the last three and a half months.

When I woke up this morning and looked over at Evie, her face didn't say, "Happy Birthday, Mom!" Instead, she whined and squirmed until I shoved a boob in her mouth. She cried in the car while we ran errands. She pooped in her diaper while I was eating cake. She even slobbered on my face when I held her up above my head. In short, Evelyn did not care that today was my birthday.

Unlike other days, however, she stayed quiet while I ate my dinner, happily glaring at a muted episode of Spongebob on TV. Trust me, this is a wonderful birthday gift. Normally I have to choke down a bowl of cereal for dinner while Evie threatens to fuss any second.

Believe me when I say that I am happy to be a whole year away from my former life. Evie has made my life so much better, so much more rewarding, and no number of vodka shots could numb me into the bliss I feel every time she smiles her big gummy grin.

You could say that Evie was a birthday surprise from last year. Today I held her and knew with all certainty that she was the greatest gift I could ever receive, even if she does slobber on my face.

There's No Place Like Home

Today was my very last day of work at TGI Friday's. On my way home, I had a feeling that I believe is most comparable to the way Dorothy must have felt when it was time for her to leave Oz. I went around the restaurant and said my goodbyes, feeling sad but relieved at the same time. The whole experience was summed up by the word "bittersweet."

You may be thinking, "Kellie. Get a grip. It was a waitressing job."

But that's where you would be wrong. That job was my foray back into the adult world after giving birth only a few months ago. I started working there when Evelyn was 7 weeks old, and since then it has allowed me to interact with adults and feel as if I'm good for more than breastfeeding.

Leaving Evelyn for each work shift was always a challenge, but I consistently felt tremendous joy every time I walked back through the front door, feet aching and skin stinking of steaks, when I got to see my daughter's chubby face once again.

I think parenting demands breaks. You have to go out into the world and away from your child for periods of time to retain sanity. I respect anyone who bears the moniker "full-time parent" because I fear I would permanently speak in baby talk if I did.

Aside from the mental stability permitted by working a job, the people I called co-workers have evolved into fantastic friends. I can say with all honesty that I will miss every single one of them. I already miss listening to their stories, laughing at their jokes and sharing their aggravation at a bad tip. If any of them read this, I hope they know I feel very happy to have met them. Like Dorothy, however, I hope that I'm not leaving them behind entirely so much as I'm waking up from the dream that was my time in Lexington. I'm confident they'll continue to be my friends even if I no longer see them as scarecrows or tinmen, aka co-workers.

So here I sit, wondering what to do with my Friday's polo shirt and apron, ready to turn the page onto the next chapter. Evelyn and I are moving back to Louisville in one week, and in the meantime I'm going to search for a new job. I just hope I get to trade in my black, non-slip shoes for some ruby slippers in the near future.

Worth a Thousand Words

Because she is just so stinkin' cute, here are my all-time favorite pictures of Evie since she was born! All of them were taken on my cell phone.

This is one of the very first pictures I took of my sweet little girl when she came into my life on July 5, 2011. When I took this photo, I had no idea much fun I had in store.

I think Evie was three days old here. My little sister, Carly, had brought over a sticker with the letter "E" on it, so I stuck it to her onesie and took a picture.

I've always loved this picture, and I can't quite figure out why. She was maybe a week old, and I just thought she looked so peaceful and sweet when she slept.

This was right before I took her over to my dad's house for the first time. She looked so alert and ready to go!

Wearing a hat from Paris that my friend, Jennifer, brought her. Proof that she is already more stylish than I am.

This was Evie's first boat ride this summer. I think she was just around a month old. It was very hot outside, but she did great.

So cozy!

This was taken soon after we moved to Lexington. In her little pink onesie, I thought she looked like a sleeping baby piglet.

After I took this, I started calling her my "little bunny" because she looked like a tiny rabbit nestled down in a burrow. She was just so content in her little bouncy seat, which is where she usually chills while I get ready.

I specifically remember she was staring at the toilet when I took this. She looked so calm and innocent just staring at the shiny porcelain comode.

Evie always gets this big grin on her face if I look at her and say, "Oooooohhh!" I was finally able to get it on camera, a difficult task considering if she spots the camera, she stares at it with a serious look on her face.

This is classic Evie these days- sweet, curious and mellow, but always a tad mischevious. She reminds me of someone... ;)

Sleep and My Lack Thereof

Today I was at work contemplating how much I miss having the time to think and write. When you say, "Hi, my name is Kellie and I'll be taking care of you tonight. What can I bring you to drink?" so many times, you begin to miss using your vocabulary for creative purposes. It was then that I realized I haven't written a blog post in over a month.

Forgive me! Between working and taking care of Evie, I rarely have time to eat a full meal, much less sit down and type. But here I am- fresh out of work with a baby quietly napping a few feet away. And may I just say this: I envy her.

A lot of people told me that when I embarked into motherhood, my sleep patterns would be drastically affected. But just like most other parental warnings, you can't understand it until you're living the mom life.

For the first month and a half or so of Evie's life, she woke up approximately four or five times a night to squeal and eat. Luckily for me, breastfeeding makes those late-night and early-morning snacks much easier. I just pull the baby right up next to me and let her indulge. However, because we got in the habit of laying in the same bed so much, Evie now believes that my bed is her bed.

I used to sleep like a starfish- on my stomach with all four limbs stretched in different directions. Now I sleep like, well, a baby in the womb. While Evie lays sprawled out next to me, I stay curled in the fetal position all night long. Waking up is unpleasant not because I would rather keep sleeping, but because I feel like I'm trying to undo the rigor mortis that has obviously set in.

And forget naps. Once in a while, if I'm lucky, I can doze off with Evie laying on my chest. But usually I don't even want to consider snoozing during the day because the feeling that I should be doing something else is overwhelming. My mind screams, "How can you sleep when you should be folding that huge pile of laundry?!"

But if there's one thing I know, it's that parenting is a balancing act. Sometimes you have to make time for the things that make you happy and serve no other purpose. Like blogging.