Crocodile Tears

I make an effort every day to read about something baby related. The book I have, "Great Expectations," is bigger than any dictionary I've ever owned, so it's been quite the load of information to tackle. But today, I could hardly put it down. The chapter I read today was relevant to my boobs and emotional well-being.

I remember being a preteen and thinking breasts were the most important things in the world. I recall feeling awkward and uncool when it came time to change in the locker room after PE unless I had a training bra on. Such was the case for my classmates, too. Eventually, they quit feeling so life-altering and took a backseat to more important matters. Now they seem to have resurfaced.

When I first began researching breast pumps, I was surprised and confused when I found one that had a "letdown" button. In my mind, a letdown was synonymous with disappointment. Further research revealed that in Mommyland, a letdown is also known as the "milk-ejection reflex."

"Letdown: A letdown happens when the stimulation of a baby's sucking, the action of a breast pump, or a mother's images of breastfeeding cause hormones in a mother's body to stimulate her breasts to flow milk into the ducts ... Sometimes milk will drip ... or even spew out in a steady stream."

It's been explained to me before that the sound of a baby crying can trigger the letdown reflex. Terrifying. Babies all over the place cry all the time. What am I supposed to do when I'm in public with no letdown button?!

The other night, I was in a restaurant when a baby seated at the next table over began pitching an all-out fit. Normally, this would have been little more than irritating, but I found myself oddly perturbed by the sound. Now I know why. Apparently, a baby's wailing can be outright brain-scrambling to a new mother.

According to my book, "Hearing your baby cry can make your heart race, your blood pressure go up, your palms sweat, and your milk start leaking... There's simply nothing that compares to how upsetting and distracting your baby's cry can be."

Wait a minute. You're telling me that the sound of a baby's cry will not only activate the sprinkler system, but also send my mind into a frenzy?

Frightening as all this information may be, I'm still completely fascinated with how programmed the human body is. Throughout my pregnancy, I have felt as if I'm on autopilot, and now I see that this state-of-being continues into motherhood. I'm still nervous, but now I hope that when my baby cries and my body goes haywire, I'll have enough sense of calm to write it off as biology and have a good laugh.