In the Eye of the Beholder

"You don't look six and a half months pregnant."

I've been getting this comment a lot lately, and I never really know how to respond. Usually I just say something to the effect of "Well, I certainly feel that pregnant," or "She's right on track with how big she's supposed to be, so I guess I am too." Honestly, what am I supposed to say?

I can't help but wonder if pregnant women are supposed to look a similar size at certain times. Is there a standard of largeness that we're expected to reach by the six month mark? If so, I'm apparently slacking. I remember hearing people say that every pregnancy is unique. Every woman's body reacts differently. But now I feel under pressure to puff up a little more in the belly region.

I don't take offense from women who have been pregnant before. Perhaps they're just recalling what they looked like at this stage and comparatively, I seem little. But last week, a girl in one of my classes who has never had a baby gave me a condescending look and told me I didn't look how I should. I would be lying if I said I wasn't tempted to reply, "I've been working my butt off on this baby and frankly, I feel huge. Whether or not it meets your standards, this belly is heavy, so back off!"

I know I sound like I'm being sensitive, but I'm sincerely just confused. Why tell me that all women have different pregnancy experiences and then tell me I'm not rotund enough?!

I used to be tiny. Very tiny. My hips were narrow, my stomach was flat and I didn't have a rump to speak of. If you compare what I used to look like to my current body shape, you would probably deduce that I do, in fact, look six months pregnant.

Another comment I hear quite often is, "You're going to snap right back to normal in no time."

What if I don't? What if it takes me a while to get rid of the extra weight? In all honesty, I don't really want to go back to the way I looked pre-pregnancy. I like my enhanced hips and a hiney that can actually fill out my jeans. And what the hell is "normal" anyway?

My point is this: My baby is growing at the exact rate she's supposed to be. My body is just temporary lodging for hers, and if she's doing well, then I'm just the right size. It really is true that each pregnancy is unique. Pregnant bodies, like non-pregnant bodies, look completely different. Even if I do go right back to looking like I used to, I'll never think of my body the same way. Having a baby is like jumping off a building and realizing that you can fly- it's a superpower.