Building the Nest

For the last three years, I've lived in an all-girls dorm on the University of Kentucky campus. Yesterday, I moved out for the very last time.

I'll admit, I was a pitiful sight to see during the moving-out process. I waddled up and down the stairs for an hour and a half carrying small loads of stuff to my Jeep. Everything had to be light enough for me to carry on my own. I probably could have found help, but I'm notoriously independent. I couldn't even get a reprieve from the weather yesterday, and every single armful of stuff I carried was loaded up while the rain poured down around me. Nevermind the nasty cold I've had for the last few days. Still, I was happy.

I'll never again have to swipe my student ID to get into a building. I'm no longer sleeping on a mattress that other girls have been using since the 1970s. Teenage girls aren't teetering outside my bedroom door at 3 a.m. on Thursday nights barely able to walk in their 4-inch heels from one too many hard lemonades.

For weeks, I've been eagerly anticipating moving out of my dorm room because I knew it was a temporary residence. My daughter's crib wasn't there, nor her tiny wardrobe. I love being able to take her everywhere with me, but at 30 weeks pregnant, I want to be surrounded by the things that will help me take care of her.

On top of persistent cold symptoms, last night I was dealing with the worst bout of heartburn I've ever had. Did that stop me from putting sheets on the baby's new mattress? Nope. I also couldn't sleep until I tied each little ribbon on the bumper pad to fasten it to the bars of the crib.

Selfishly, I'm also enjoying the comforts of home. Considering how many potty breaks I have to take throughout the day, I love being able to run to the bathroom without worrying about putting on shoes first. For years, eating at home has meant fixing something in the microwave, but now I have a whole oven at my disposal. Today my mom brought home my favorite Smurf ice cream -vanilla with blue cake frosting mixed in- from the Pie and Ice Cream Kitchen nearby. It reminds me of being a little kid and becoming so enamored with a sweet treat that the rest of the world seemed to vanish. Good luck finding that in a dorm room.

At the beginning of April, I made a list of all the academic things I needed to complete by the end of the semester. I hated looking at that list because no matter how many things I checked off, there were still more tasks to remind me that I had to finish being a student before I could do the maternal things I've been itching to do for months. I've read tons of information about that nesting instinct, and I couldn't surrender to it until I abandoned my temporary nest made of concrete bricks.

My "mommy list" consists of typing up my birth plan and going to baby showers. I've also signed up to take a few classes at the hospital where I'll deliver. Apparently no matter how hard I try, I can't escape my student instinct just yet.