Fairy Tales from the Crypt

Since I'm in my very last semester of school, my academic adviser told me I could take three electives of my choice- any level, any subject. So imagine my giddiness when I realized that GER 103: "Fairy Tales in European Context" fit perfectly in my schedule. Three times a week, I trek across campus to sit in a lecture hall and learn about the many fairy tales from my childhood. Perfect for a mother-to-be, right? Wrong.

The real fairy tales are a far cry from the Disney fantasies we grew up with. Instead of flawless princesses and blundering animal cohorts, the real deal revolves around subjects like murder, rape, cannibalism and abandonment. Lesson's I've committed to memory in the last week:
- At the end of Rumplestiltskin, the jilted little fella curses the princess for consulting with the devil and rips himself in half out of unbridled rage.
- Hansel and Gretel didn't get lost in the woods because they were stupid. Their parents dumped them out there to die when they didn't have enough money to feed the whole family.
- If you were a woman with OCD several centuries ago, you would be accused of having demonic rituals and sentenced to die as a witch.

I thought this class would equip me with solid versions of the charming fairy tales I knew and loved when I was a kid. But now that I know the truth, I'm afraid that one day, I'll be reading a syrupy version of Rupunzel to my child only to stop in the middle and say, "This is BS, sweetie. Let me tell you the real story."